Detoxing is NOT for the faint hearted...

I've come to the realisation that I just cannot diet.  I don't have enough willpower to do it!  I love food too much and the very thought of being separated from it again for a LONG period of time (1 day) is a terrifying prospect.


You see, last weekend I vowed to finally START & STICK to my diet.  I'm one of those people who have very little tolerance and am quite impatient.  I needed a quick and easy fix.  So I decided on the detox aptly titled "rapid 48hr detox diet".  Sounds easy enough right? imagine, in just a weekend you are guaranteed to lose weight, albeit a small amount, but whatever right? because you are still bound to lose weight!  WRONG!  Let me tell you this...they don't work!!! I guess that was too ambitious of me! but as I mentioned earlier I am very impatient and want fast results. 


Now you're probably wondering how I even got to the idea of going on a detox?  Well let me tell you why....


1. I need to lose at least 4kgs by Christmas as I will be spending a week in the land of BIKINI's and/or SPEEDOS!


2. I cannot for the life of me fit into any of my jeans!!! (sure you could blame the weather but what gives?)


3. I can only fit into one of my work skirts (I've got plenty hanging forlornly in my closet!)


4. Someone assumed I was F*&^* 60KGS!!!! & that was the bloody last straw!

Anyways, I came to find out about the 48hr detox diet whilst I was washing my hands in one of the grubby toilets of  Westpoint Blacktown.  There's only so much time you can look at yourself while washing your hands so I turned my attention to the poster on the wall beside me.  The headline instantly grabbed my attention and so I read more.... "Need to lose weight??"  YES! "Feeling sluggish?"  Totally!  "Want fast guaranteed results?"  Do I ever?!


A week later I was dragging our Manager to the Wynyard chemist to grab myself this "miracle detox".  The lady behind the counter told me that it actually works or that it worked for her bf at least.  She also warned me to stay indoors for the whole weekend as I will be going to the toilet nonstop.  No problem! At that time I thought it could work to my advantage seeing as, not only will I be losing weight but I will be saving $$$ by staying indoors!


So the weekend finally came wherein I was able to start my detox "diet."  Now before I go any further I should probably state the Do's and Don'ts of this detox diet.  Well there's only one rule really.  You are not supposed to consume anything else other than the detox liquid drink and water. 


Here is what transpired that weekend....


Day 1 Saturday

I awoke to the aroma of bacon and eggs frying and before I knew it my feet were dragging me to the kitchen.  Thank goodness I managed to stop myself on time.  I dragged my butt back to bed and forced myself to go back to sleep.  At 10.30am  there was no way I could go back to lala land again.  I waddled back to the kitchen and prepared myself for the inevitable.  I poured myself the detox drink.  It was brownish/reddish  in colour (maroon I believe is the correct terminology).  Basically like a puree of strawberry & shit LOL.  The smell wasn't bad so I brought it to my lips and took my first sip....and surprisingly it tasted quite good! 

I started to develop a headache come lunchtime which progressively worsened throughtout the day.  The 30 degree heat didn't make matters any easier... when the clock hit 4pm I thought I was on the verge of dying of starvation.  I was weak as a kitten, my vision started to blur and to make it worse, the heat sored even higher. Not a good sign....  I was forced to suffer on my bed staring up at my white ceiling.  I didn't have any energy to move a muscle so there I lay admiring the whiteness of my ceiling and imagining food glorious food!

When the sun set the air became really muggy and I started to sweat like a pig on steroids. By then, my headache was at jackhammer level meaning it literally felt like someone was constantly pounding and/or drilling me on the side of my head.  My vision went from blurry to short of no visibility.  I was also unable to lift my arm everytime my phone went off.  The only favourable thing out of this whole torture was that I only went to the toilet twice and that was early on in the day which is just as well as I didn't have much energy to breathe let alone....welll you get the picture!

As I lay there pondering whether I would be able to see the light of the day the next morning, my brother barged into my room and offered to cook me dinner!!

I was shocked and amazed considering that would be the first he'd actually offered to cook me something and the first he'd actually been nice to me! Unfortunately, I had to decline his offer and continue to wallow in my misery…. a short while later...the smell of longanisa wafted into my room and I actually started to cry...yes pretty pathetic but I've never starved myself to that extent before! hahaha  


Well you can probably guess what happened next...YES...I gave in!  I thought it was so stupid of me to think I could even get through 1 day of not eating let alone two! 


With all the energy I could muster and the determination of a wounded soldier in battle, I marched out of my room and ate my  brothers left over longanisa and more! Food never tasted soo good then!

Viva la Barcelona - December 2009

I thoroughly enjoyed nightlife in Barcelona!  We went bar hopping on our first night there.  First stop was a forrest themed bar complete with fake trees inside (or they could have been real for all I knew LOL)! They served good sangria!

Second stop was at Chuppitos...a 10x10 shooters bar with over 100 shots to choose from for a ridiculous 2 euros!!! it would have been ludicrous not to take advantage of it so went crazy on the shots. All I remembered from that bar was the fiery orange vodka shot we had where the bartender lit up the whole bar...and some willy wonka shots which was sooo delicious!

Afterwards we headed to a club strip where we hopped from one club to the next.  It was a good thing none of the clubs had a cover charge!

I met & made out with sexy Spanish guys with their sexy accents. (OK I lied.  Not all of them were sexy as I've been told! LOL) They kept speaking to me in their native tongue to which I kept nodding and smilling to in response, pretending I was understanding wtf they were saying! Yup it truly was a crazy night but hey I was on vacation...

The next day was spent sightseeing even though I was hungover like mad.  We checked out the famous La Sagrada de Familia Cathedral which continues to be under construction since its errection in 1882.  It had a very intricate gothic facade and inside was equally as amazing.  I even popped into a confessional booth which I had been wanting to do since God knows how long! unfotunately the priest inside couldn't speak english so in the end I had to apologise to him and leave as we couldn't understand each other.

We visited other famous sights, I don't really remember what or where - as mentioned above I was hungover - but it was enjoyable nonetheless.  We then went on a quest to find the perfect tapas restaurant.  It took us an hour to finally settle on a restaurant & what a disappointment! Oh well I guess that came with the 10euro price tag.  That evening, we once again went searching  for the perfect tapas and paella.  I was expecting a gastronomic experience but what a huge FAIL it turned out to me.  Ironically the Spanish food in Australia tasted ALOT better than the one in Spain!

Swiss Alps - November 2009

Lucerne, SWITZERLAND
We've arrived at our second destination - the picturesque Luzern in Switzerland. The people here are so friendly and lovely! Nissy and I checked out the Bucherer watch shop and each bought a watch - as you do - you know "swiss made" LOL. I guess the most famous monument in Lucerne is the lion engraved on a stone wall to commemorate the swiss guards who died unnecessarily protecting the french kings.

GENEVA

We had a 2 hour stop over at Geneva. It was quickly spent checking out cathedrals nearby, the famous grass clock and chocolate shopping. We killed the rest of the time pigging out on cheese fondue which was disgustingly tasty!



Ooh La la PARIS! - 22 November 2009




Contiki tour Day 1 - Paris, FRANCE

We met our room mate today. So far she seems lovely and not a psycho! Unfortunately our assigned hotel room was really cramped and had only two single beds so unfortunately for her she got the folding bed.

Our first dinner was terrible! cheese and tomatoes for starters and some turkey and stale fries for main, followed by some sloppy so called apple tart for dessert. Is this the lowest treshold for holiday inn standards??? tres appaling!

I had my sparkly beret on so the waiters were at my beck and call. When in Paris….
After dinner we headed out to our bright orange contiki bus to check out the famous sites.
First drive through was the Champ Elysees - one of the most famous streets in the world with its high end shopping district and is also the most expensive strip of real estate in Europe. Oh and according to our funky tour manager the Macdonalds there (which was white & black instead of the traditional yellow and red) is possibly the most expensive “Mckerz” in the world. They have everything in that avenue, from expensive label stores, cafes and even car shops i.e. lamborghinis etc (you get the picture). Champ Elysee was so pretty all brightly lit up and filled with the rich, common locals and tourists milling around.

Down the end of the road a massive ferris wheel glowed and beckoned us over. It looked so gorgeous lighting up in hues of blue as it spun and spun around. Directly behind it stood the obelisk of luxor which the Egyptian government gave as a 'present' to the French during the 19th century.

We then headed towards the arc de triomphe. I wasn’t really paying much attention to our Tour Manager who gave us a brief history about the famous landmark. All I gathered was that, it was the largest arch in the world and was built by Napolean’s will to commemmorate the soldiers that died in battle during the French revolution, as well as some unknown soldier was buried at the bottom of the arc. What i really rememebered was it being the massive round about that was featured in one of Chevy Chase’s family vacations.

We went around and around the lanes surrounding the arc de triomphe, and around it some more with our driver Martis expertly maneuvering our massive bus whilst at the same time dodging cars around us. Mind u there were about thirteen lanes without actual lanes! It was a fun and scary experience!

The tour also took us to the Notre Dame..the name says it all! We drove around some more and visited other famous and historical sights. We capped off our night tour by being dropped off at the eiffel tower. The view of the tower from the bottom was perfect. It was so beautiful as it sparkled and changed colours! OOH LA LA!

It would have been preposterous not to ascent the eiffel tower! Being the stupid tourists that we were, we inadvertently bought the tickets to take the stairs instead of the lifts, (coz they were cheap!) and consequently had to climb up the staggering 674 steps to the 2nd level. OMG! I was in heels (thank goodness they were comfortable heels!) Now if you’ve been spending the whole day on foot sightseeing and had barely a nights sleep, that was equivalent to running a marathon and more i.e. torture. By the time we ascended to the next level we were exhausted and huffing and puffing like crazy. We finally realized our mistake and payed extra to catch the lifts up to the very top floor.

The view from the top was breathtaking and absolutely amazing.

Je taime Paris!

The very top of the Eiffel tower...was so windy!





The following day we headed out to go sightseeing and I lost myself in the Louvre. We spent a good 3.5 hours in there and I came to appreciate art, especially when I finally saw MONA LISA, with her enigmatic smile, in person surrounded by a red rope complete with two guards side by side. Impressive yes but very very small. The painting by L. Da Vinci was so simple yet so magical and beautiful in its inexplicability and mysteriousness.

the famous/infamous Mona Lisa

We also watched the MOULIN ROUGE which was highly entertaining! it is seriously one of the best shows I've seen!